feet on the ground

i am more than capable of keeping myself sane. i have been walking this planet for more than two decades and i have mastered the art of hiding my version of insanity from the rest of the world.

but there are times when i need a sounding board and my blog just wouldn’t do, i’ve got these people to cover me:

i’m quite fortunate to have these guys around. they’re a smart bunch and i feel very comfortable when i’m around them. and the fact that at some point in my adult life i have shared a room with these folks makes the friendship, um, let’s just say, solid.

beyond drunken nights and secret keeping, these people keep me sane. they make sure i see things my myopic vision hides from me. and i guess having them around makes growing up easier.

when it comes to love and all it’s complexities, i choose to suffer alone. i do not want to burden my friends with trivial details because i know that they too have their own battles to face. wars that require more attention than some silly broken heart. but like the good people that they are, they have this uncanny sense of feeling when one is not alright. when i need someone to listen to. even if i know that what i feel may not be a problem that they need to solve, they’re there to listen.

and our auditory faculties are more effective when there’s karaoke involved. and alcohol. but since we lead separate lives, coffee would suffice.

so this is my huge thank you note to them. they have never failed to save me from the depths of crap i have managed to drag myself into.

of course, since the cofiboi is a very social creature, there’s another set of friends i would like to thank, just for being themselves. they offer no judgement, and they are very miserly when it comes to their two cents, but their presence is more than enough.

these guys are the reason why i am getting fat. and i love them for that. and i am so excited because one of them is getting married this weekend. 🙂

thanks guys, for helping me get back on track. i am getting tired of sulking and my brain cells are complaining because most of my thoughts were about HIM.  but i am now ready to smile again. and yes, i have gone through all the motions of hitting my head against the wall for my perceived stupidity.

again, thanks.

do you?

when i lay awake at night

do you think of me?

my first waking thought is you

do think of me too?

when i dream, i see you

do you see me that way too?

when we talk, my thoughts wander, searching for an answer

but that answer may never come

but do you think of me?

when you mention his name, does my name come out of your lips too?

i trudge through my day, waiting for you

but do you wait for me too?

i think about holding your hands, feeling your palms

brush against mine

do you feel the same way too?

as i sit here in my room, thinking of what could be, what might be

do you do that too?

but why do i think of you so?

was it just a fleeting moment when i saw the sparkle in your eyes

when you smiled when you saw me?

was it trivial?

was it just me?

cofiboi in cebu part 2

they say love is lovelier the second time around. and i know that’s true. because in a couple of hours i’ll be flying to cebu! yay!

one more time, with feelings

i think the first automated elections is going pretty well. my folks and i are tuned in to the tube and waiting for the results with crossed fingers.

but enough of that, twitter is overflowing with tweets an retweets of the elections. don’t get me wrong, i am looking forward to the results. this would spell our fate as a nation for the next six years.

one thing i’m looking forward to, other than the election results, would be my cebu trip. yes, i’m going back to the city i have fallen in love with.

and for three glorious days, i’ll be staying here:

and i’ll be getting there from the airport in this:

of course, i’d be doing something important there. like attend a wedding. and that’s going to be here:

so yeah, i’m excited.

i love cebu and i love traveling. and i have officially dubbed this year as ‘cofiboi’s year of travel’. after cebu? well, i’m setting my sights on this cute creature:

yay! 🙂

omen

i do not care for dreams. i have always believed that dreams are just fragmented byproducts of my overactive subconscious.

back in college, we studied dreams and what their meanings might be. but being a natural cynic, i did not pay attention. after all, psychology is not an exact science, and there has been no concrete scientific evidence linking dreams and their meanings to our waking, boring lives.

but last night’s dream was different. it was so lucid, i can still remember how i felt when i was in it.

so this is how my dream went:

i was in my room, although i clearly remember i felt a little bit disconnected from everything and i think i was floating, and in the corner was a canvas bag (remnants of the four chord song perhaps?). sticking out from the bag were three huge white heart-shaped balloons with words (and since this is a dream, they looked like words to me) printed in red (valentine’s anyone?).

i ‘floated’ weightlessly to the bag to ‘read’ the words on the balloon. and like any other dream, the letters are jumbled but i seemed to understand what they meant based on what i felt (as i remember it). then, a table materialized beside the bag with two powder blue envelopes, the kind you see on gifts. i opened one, and i clearly remember that it didn’t have my name on it but i read it anyway.

i think it said: “i still love you, (and it wasn’t my name)”

then i opened the other envelope. it still didn’t have my name on it, but the letter was addressed to me. i don’t know what it said but i remember throwing the letter away and focused my attention on the heart-shaped balloons. i studied the words and although i don’t remember what i read (or the dream me, rather), i felt betrayed.

that feeling stayed with me even after i woke up. i surmised that it has something to do with his ex. i deduced (yes, i like to use that word) that he wants his ex back.

it would have made more sense if i knew who this ex was and who wants to get back with that ex.

as far as i know, i’m the only protagonist in that dream (which was very logical because it was MY dream after all) and the other characters would remain nameless. so i’m a bit unnerved because i woke up feeling betrayed and disappointed with no one to direct these feelings to.

that’s when little brothers come in handy. he was the sole recipient of my early morning grumpiness. and after coffee, i was okay.

so what’s the point of this post? i don’t have any idea. maybe there’s someone i know who wants to be reunited with an ex. well that’s my take on it. and even if i don’t really care much about dreams (the kind you get when you sleep, not your hopes and aspirations in life), i want to know what you guys think. 🙂