Papa's new home. Quite a view, ain't it?
Slow but Sudden
Papa passed away a few weeks ago. It wasn't an unexpected passing. But who is prepared for the death of a loved one, right?
Both of his kidneys failed two years ago and he has been going through dialysis until his death.
Death. I'm surprised I can type that word and not break down.
Do I have any regrets? A few.
Like I could've spent more time with him.
I could've let him into my world, my life so we both understood each other.
He may have never approved some of the life choices I've made but if only I was able to spend more time with him, we'd come into an understanding of sorts.
But that never happened. Sure, there were the yearly visits, phone calls and Facetime sessions, but I feel like I haven't done enough.
I could have done more. I could have been there for him. But unfortunately, you only realize these things when it's too late.
That's why I have decided to move to Davao, where my Mama is.
I don't know what i'll be doing there. Maybe find a job. Or go back to school and finally finish that degree. Or maybe even set up a business.
What I know is that I want to spend more time with Mama before it's too late.
Before the time comes that she would not be able to recognize the man that I have become.
I want her in my life again. And I want to be a part of hers. This time, as equals.
Two adults rekindling a relationship that has been tainted by time, misunderstanding and distance.
I am uprooting myself from my comfort zone. I don't have any friends in Davao. I don't know what's in store but that's part of the change that excites me.
There's a lot of potential.
And in the end, if the only thing I am able to accomplish is to be by Mama's side, I am fulfilled.