Day 05- Just Keep Breathing

May 5

Day 04

May 4

It’s 2am and I woke up to silence. It’s still quite dark outside and a thin layer of clouds covered the midnight sky hiding the moon and stars.

I try to go back to sleep but my mind was wide awake. I tossed and turned looking for that sweet spot where sleep would welcome me again. But I lay wide awake.

So I got up and fixed myself a cup of coffee. My thoughts still wanting to finish the dream I think I had. But I know sleep isn’t coming anytime soon.

I stepped out to the balcony hoping to catch the night breeze. But there was none. The leaves didn’t rustle and the wind didn’t blow. The only signs of life are the street lamps and the steady hum of the air conditioning units.

The coffee has gone cold now. I took a final sip and went back inside, sat on the sofa and continued to think about what to do with the slightly dented light saber on the table.

Day 03- White Flag?

Pakialamero- Day 02

May 2

Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan mangealam ng ibang tao sa buhay ko.

Dahil ba walang magawa? Ubos na ang mga pinapanood sa Netflix kaya ibang tao naman ang kailangang pakealaman?

Wala namang ginagawang masama sa kanila. Pero siguro nga likas na chismoso at chismosa ang mga Pinoy.

O ‘di kaya ay gusto lang nila makalamang sa iba.

Parte na nga talaga ng buhay natin siguro ang mga ganitong tao. Nakakalungkot lang kasi hindi naman sila pinapakealaman, pero todo ang pagpuna at pagbulatlat sa buhay ko.

Hinding hindi na ako magtitiwala.

15 Days: Day 01

May 1

Open Spotify>tap Search>type Bruno Mars>look for the Unorthodox Jukebox Album>tap Gorilla>play

I let the water from the shower head rain down on my body, waiting for all the anxiety to be washed away.

But they stay and linger. Like dust bunnies in my brain, the cling to my consciousness with their tiny claws refusing to let go.

It’s all up in the air. My life. My future. The rest of the year.

For weeks I have felt like swimming in the middle of the ocean aimlessly. Land is nowhere in sight and I am still swimming. Yet I do not drown. But my arms and legs, just like my thoughts are tired.

Exhausted.

Fearful.

Bereft of all semblance of hope.

Song on loop.