‘happy’ world poetry day!😊

  

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unceremonious

loyalty.

some people put a premium on it. relationships last because of it. workplaces thrive on it. unfortunately, some companies think of it as a trivial commodity; relegated to the desperate, the uninspired, lacking in value, the stagnant ones.

what some fail to realize is that loyalty is an investment in itself. for individuals to devote their time and energy nurturing the relationship with an organization (which apparently is lopsided, at times one-sided) requires heart and passion.

loyalty is never built-in. it is earned, gained and should be valued. beyond the customary cards and certificates of appreciation, loyalty should be celebrated. leaders should not expect loyalty, for loyalty is earned.

i work in a dynamic industry: ever-changing and always fast-paced. the toll it puts on one’s body and mind is so great but are most often relegated to the sidelines. “comes with the territory” as some would say.

and that’s exactly my point. my work is stressful enough as it is, that each milestone, little as it may be is an achievement. and achievements ought to be celebrated.

it is highly disheartening to see that after years AND years of doing beyond what is expected, all one gets is a gold-plated pin unceremoniously handed without even a sugar-coated “thank you for your loyalty, you are highly appreciated and the work you do is always part of our success” quip.

makes me wonder, if i have placed my loyalty somewhere else, would it be the same too?

UPDATE : I’m still waiting for that pin.

Throwback

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I was cleaning up my inbox when i saw this. I wrote this six years ago.

My apartment smells like stale smoke from week-old cigarettes. The summer heat is slowly melting the rank sweat that clung to the walls. The bed is untidy and pillows are all over the place. Cigarette packs serve as conversation pieces.

I stare at my mobile, waiting for a message that I knew would not come while my cigarette slowly burns.

I just woke up from a disturbed sleep. That’s the kind of sleep I’ve been having these past few days. As I sit there, half asleep, my mind still brushing away the cobwebs of dreams, I pondered on the things that have happened. Some existential bullshit I’ve been forcing myself lately.

The air is sticky with humid much like in a rubber suit. I take a drag, the nicotine invade my lungs once more. I reach out for a glass of water just to wash the bitter taste away. My room mate hasn’t come home yet, so I am left alone to my own devices, trying to pass the time as I gather my thoughts.

I’ll be turning 25 this year. A quarter of a century. Old by most standards. I’m one in a generation experiencing the ‘quarter-life crisis.’ A new term coined for us folks who grew up right smack in the break-neck speed of technological evolution. A world where lines are blurred between the virtual and the real one.

My throat aches from the invasion of the poison I force into my body everyday. My mobile rings, jolting me out of my thoughts.

One of my clients needs a report.

There you go. I have no personal life anymore. People bug me even if i’m out of the office. I don’t reply. It’s my day off, give me a break.

I drag myself off the bed, flick the cancer stick away and try to fix myself a decent meal. I have an erratic meal schedule.

As erratic as my own personal life.

I can still feel my parent’s disappointment everytime they see me. I can hear the words they never utter but have been playing in their heads: you wasted your life, dirtbag.

That ruined my appetite. I was preparing myself for a long and lazy day, but my mind had plans of its own. I will not be at peace today. Crap.

I mentally ticked off all the things that I need to do for the day and like the procrastinator that I am, decided to do away with them altogether. It’s my off for chrissakes, I want the day to pass by without me doing any productive work.

Or maybe I could just clean the apartment. Maybe not. There’s too much clutter, I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to complicate my life by prioritizing which areas to clean first. besides, I’m not getting sick yet of the chaos, it’s all good.

Where to?

It’s still all up in the air but my mind is set. I may not feel the pain of being uprooted yet but I feel hopeful. More than two decades of living here has made me who I am today. Yet the thought of leaving all of these scares me. I know I am making the right choice; but that doesn’t change the fact that this is going to be my biggest leap of faith.
So here’s to being a grownup and making all those grownup decisions.
Wish me luck.

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from the ashes…

 

i have been meaning to write again but inspiration eludes me. i worry sometimes that this skill would atrophy.

whenever i am in front of a computer, writing a post is the farthest thing from my mind. life and work has become distractions instead of the sources of literary inspiration. i am contented with reading other people’s work and silently wish that i could be as adept at writing as they are. but unfortunately, one has to sift through a lot of emotional trash before finding a little bright spot of ‘writing potential’.

i will write again soon. don’t count me out yet.

consider this an apology, a greeting and a desperate call for attention (an exaggeration, i know) rolled into a few lines of words.

we will see each other again soon.