here we go
just turned a new leaf
am given a blank sheet
and i ain’t looking back
never looking back
i have learned my lessons
kept the memories
will keep moving forward
nowhere else to go
and the morning looks bright
steps no longer unsure
no more hesitations
i’m not looking back
will look to the future
color it wildly
i’m on my way
and i’m never looking back
have done what needs to be done
will leave the drama behind
no more tears, i’ll come out smiling
tied all the loose ends
and i am never looking back
i’m here, and no one can stop me
this is my year
and i’m not looking back
beer and vodka is a bad mix for me.
i am prone to do stupid things when i am wasted. like really stupid things. stupid things like doing body shots in broad daylight. or pouring out my feelings to someone i’m not supposed to have feelings for and then totally forgetting what he said back.
so we were out drinking and stupid drunk me asked him and his friends to come over. first it was all laughter and fun. then things started to get crazy. i was told to do a dare, and since i’m already drunk, i did it without hesitation. fuck.
so i did some really crazy things and i thought i’d leave it at that. then we ordered vodka. that’s when the craziness turned into insanity. i went insane. i blame it in the alcohol. seriously. the things i said should have never been said. and not said in the condition i was in. but the moment i uttered those words, though drunk, i knew everything would fall apart.
good thing i chose to forget his answer. i remember parts of it but the whole thought is lost on me.
and i have to live with my actions. although i do not regret what i have done, i only wish i could have done those things sober. for maximum effect.
and since i have already said my piece and i do not expect to get anything in return, i am putting an end to this stupidity. i am closing this chapter and move on to a newer, more sober one. i do not want to close the book on him, because in the end, i would want us to be friends.
come monday, the only thing i’m scared of would be the awkward moments. i hope there would be none, but i guess it would be part of the consequences that i must face because of my stupid, drunken actions.
so good luck to me, and more beer please. 🙂