keep on playing

here we go

just turned a new leaf

am given a blank sheet

and i ain’t looking back

never looking back

i have learned my lessons

kept the memories

will keep moving forward

nowhere else to go

and the morning looks bright

steps no longer unsure

no more hesitations

i’m not looking back

will look to the future

color it wildly

i’m on my way

and i’m never looking back

have done what needs to be done

will leave the drama behind

no more tears, i’ll come out smiling

tied all the loose ends

and i am never looking back

i’m here, and no one can stop me

this is my year

and i’m not looking back

 

and so the story ends

beer and vodka is a bad mix for me.

i am prone to do stupid things when i am wasted. like really stupid things. stupid things like doing body shots in broad daylight. or pouring out my feelings to someone i’m not supposed to have feelings for and then totally forgetting what he said back.

so we were out drinking and stupid drunk me asked him and his friends to come over. first it was all laughter and fun. then things started to get crazy. i was told to do a dare, and since i’m already drunk, i did it without hesitation. fuck.

so i did some really crazy things and i thought i’d leave it at that. then we ordered vodka. that’s when the craziness turned into insanity. i went insane. i blame it in the alcohol. seriously. the things i said should have never been said. and not said in the condition i was in. but  the moment i uttered those words, though drunk, i knew everything would fall apart.

good thing i chose to forget his answer. i remember parts of it but the whole thought is lost on me.

and i have to live with my actions. although i do not regret what i have done, i only wish i could have done those things sober. for maximum effect.

and since i have already said my piece and i do not expect to get anything in return, i am putting an end to this stupidity. i am closing this chapter and move on to a newer, more sober one. i do not want to close the book on him, because in the end, i would want us to be friends.

come monday, the only thing i’m scared of would be the awkward moments. i hope there would be none, but i guess it would be part of the consequences that i must face because of my stupid, drunken actions.

so good luck to me, and more beer please. 🙂