the journal

tattered and yellowed

cobwebbed and worn

cracked and beaten

the pages heavy with thoughts

and memories

and dreams

i pry the book open, gingerly as i go

and then i am taken back

to a place where visions are cast

and my world used to be yours

with limitless hope, i write without fear

my future, our future

letter upon letter, word upon word, sentences on sentences

the blank pages became my canvass

to a masterpiece we once created, we once shared

written on eternal sunshine

read with the light of the moon

i touch the old and cracked page

like skin

and all the tales and all the stories

surround me like wisps of smoke

and then i breathe

the memory fades

the pages fall to the ground like ashes

the story ends and the book is closed

 

 

scattered letters

by the window, there’s a box

covered in dust, sitting in silence

i reach for it, slightly holding back

afraid of what it might do

of what i might see

the key feels heavy in my pocket, like lead

like something that is dead

i took a step back, unsure of what’s next

summing up the courage to turn the key

afraid of what i might do

the afternoon sky quietly fades into sunset

the box, on my lap remains unopened

they key, now sweaty in my palm lay still

i smell the lacquered wood, the dust and the memories

i turn the key, creaking as i go

and the sun rosy as it was held its breath for me

letters, stacked upon each other

papers yellowed, like wisps of memories

came flooding through my consciousness

i steady myself, willing not to let the tears fall

i have hidden all of these deep in the crevices of my heart

i read them, like a eulogy, sending my emotions to the grave

and in every page, in every stroke, i see your face

and i remember, everything i remember

for the last time, i remember.

 

vanilla moon

i remember

because my heart would not let me forget

the smell of you on me

your breath that tickled my ear

your fingers softly brushing the dreams away from my eyes

like sunlight

when day breaks

i remember the curve of your back

when i pull you close

closer than any man has ever been

your sweat, like dew on my lips

slow rush, dancing to the music in our heads

playing over and over and over

i remember your kiss

that salty aftertaste when our lips part

and you cover my mouth again, panting, hungry, devouring my soul

breaking down my wall, my defenses, crossing through my moat with ease

i remember

because my heart would not let me forget