the world sleeps in night’s embrace
the earth is still, dreams take flight
but i do not sleep
i cannot will myself to take comfort in night’s lullaby
i stay awake, and my mind wanders
thoughts flash, like streaks of falling stars
illuminating the landscape of my thoughts
i look up and the sky, clear like day, opens and reveals your face
i took a step but the chasm that divides us is far too great
i can only gaze, for we are apart
your image blurs and i say ‘wait’
your smile fading quickly as the night gives way to dawn
no goodbyes, and the tears did not fall
for at dusk, i might get a glimpse of heaven yet again.
i made a mistake and i feel like i have betrayed myself. i knew that this would happen, deep in my heart i knew. and in a classic move made by me, i let the pieces fall knowing i would be the only one to pick them up. a recurring scene that keeps on playing as if on an extended loop.
i have always been honest with myself and i take pride in the fact that i always knew the risks involved. and like what i have always said: in the morning i will be okay.
and that’s true. i am truly okay.
i had a conversation with a friend yesterday and she wanted to know my perspective on loving. it was very interesting because when i was dishing out my selfish philosophies, i realized that these beliefs helped me understand the complexities of love.
i told her that there’s always a risk involved and it would be up to you if you would be willing to risk it or not. that there would be always pain and it would be your call if you would want to stop hurting or the pain is still worth it to continue loving.
you cannot control what the other person feels but you can control how you feel. you control yourself, even if you’re throwing yourself at someone whom you haven’t have the slightest idea if the feeling would be mutual, you would still be in control. although it takes a lot of will to keep yourself from getting carried away. i told her that one should leave something for himself so that when everything falls apart, one would have something to build on.
i am picking up the pieces and i am okay. the pain is worth it. but i am putting an end to it.
i am waving the white flag of surrender, i couldn’t afford the risk anymore.
i’m sorry, but cofiboi needs some time off from writing. i just can’t think of anything to write about.
i think i need a lobotomy.
amidst the sea of garbled words and mixed signals
your truth stays afloat
i fly on wings of your spoken word
to reach your beacon
but claws of questions hinder my flight
and doubt descends like storm clouds
then the light of your spirit, like a shining blade
pierced the darkness
and that little speck of hope
still flicker in the horizon
like the phoenix i rise
with steely resolve i fly again
as i reach for you
our hands touch, but try as i might
your truth, your whole being slips further away
and then you disappear
the light is gone
and once again i am bound in the dark